Stephanie Hill
Prysm Body Piercing – Business Consultant

Alicia Cardenas led a well-attended round table at this year’s APP Conference titled, “Women in Piercing.” The group in attendance explored the past, current, and future experiences of those identifying as women in the piercing industry. As we went around the room hearing from people describing their situations or that of others in their shops, we learned that as an industry we still have opportunities to improve, especially in the following areas:
• Harassment, discrimination, and abuse
• Objectification
• Language norms
• Active presence of female role models
• Leadership positions

Coming from a corporate background, I was surprised to hear how prevalent harassment, discrimination, and abuse based on gender still are within the body modification industry. I have always had to go through mandatory training and regular reminders of what is (not) acceptable and what is (not) legal. Yet, many of the stories I was hearing sounded accepted with no one taking action whether or not the person being victimized spoke up about the treatment. Experiences by managers, coworkers, and clients (male and female) included verbal degradation, persistent sexual advances, and physically inappropriate acts that in many cases traumatized the female piercer victims. We all have a legal right to not experience that from any individual that interacts with the business (staff, vendor, or client).

If your business does not have a sexual harassment policy, please adopt one and ensure that your staff has been properly trained. If you (or your manager) is not sure where to start or what your rights are, there are many companies that can provide this expertise and training. First and foremost, everyone in your studio must feel safe at all times. Several people in the round table suggested ways to express this violation of safety. Saying to a client, “you are making me uncomfortable, so I need you to change how you are speaking to me in order for us to continue,” is a great way to set and follow-through on ground rules. If they continue, all personnel must feel that it is appropriate for them to refuse service to that client at any point in the interaction. No client or sale is worth sacrificing anyone’s emotional or physical safety. Finally, know that you have legal rights. If you experience abuse, contact your police department. If you have questions about harassment or discrimination, investigate government agencies that provide support or speak with a lawyer. I have always been taught to write allegations down as you experience them. Sometimes, the pattern of behavior is more telling than an individual incident, so having a log of what you have experienced, along with dates, can provide the evidence needed to tell your story.

Objectification often seems subtler than other mistreatment based upon gender, but it quickly damages a person’s potential in their career. While many people assume this word means to treat a woman like an object, like a piece of meat, it goes beyond this. “Object” contrasts the word “subject,” like in a story: the reader only has interest in the subject of a story. The objects of a story merely exist to add background and interest to the subject. The object alone does not play a role of interest to the reader. Anything we learn about those people are merely to embellish what we know about the subject.

As women, we play this role more often than we notice, but we deserve the spotlight, too. If we bring that into daily experiences in the piercing world, whenever a female is discredited in a shop, often by a client, that female loses the opportunity to play a star role. A client may ask a male piercer the exact question he just asked the female, even if she is the owner, because the client may assume the male has more authority or knowledge. The group in the round table suggested to the men in the group that if a client asks a woman a question and then turns to them or another male asking them the same question, to avoid the tendency to give them the answer. Instead, say something like, “she just answered that question for you.” That type of response empowers the female, and she jumps into being the subject, not the object.

Now, let’s talk about the term “counter girl.” When do we hear the term “boy” used for males over 18 years old? Historically in the U.S., “boy” has been a derogatory term to imply a subservient position or to sexualize a male. We have heard the term “boy” used during slave times or in other racially degrading manners, and we hear “pool boy” when middle-aged women plan to have an illicit affair with a young man. Other than sexualizing or demeaning a male, I do not hear the term, “boy” used to refer to a man. So, unless we intend to sexualize or demean our vital studio role, why does any shop continue to use the term, “counter girl?” If you still do this, please stop immediately. Change your job description. Change your postings for counter positions. Change your policy and/or procedure manual, and communicate this change to staff and clients, if necessary. There are no girls who work in your shop. People work in your shop. If you are a woman who is referred to as a “counter girl,” inform your manager that you would like a new title and why. Show that person this article if you need more of an explanation… or have them give me a call.

While I did hear some discouraging stories in the round table, I found it refreshing that many of the males in attendance encouraged and supported female piercers. We heard of several males who act as role models for women, but often that relationship has a damsel-in-distress/knight-in-shining-armor feel to it, whether that was the intent by either party or not. Two things that can remedy this are:
1) If men stop solving women’s problems for them and, instead, set the expectation for women to think critically and answer questions/solve problems through their own knowledge and research, they decrease the reliance on a male to hold control over that mentor-mentee relationship.
2) Provide a network of female role models who should do the suggestion from #1, but also demonstrate first-hand how critical thinking and self-reliance leads to increased respect, expertise, and leader-ship in the industry. We love having the male support, but we absolutely need to see and engage with the female leaders in the industry to help shape future female leaders.

Speaking of female leaders, we could all rapidly identify amazing current and past women in the industry who could be wonderful resources for providing guidance for other women. We also shared several experiences in which female leaders had taken on traditionally male qualities to “fit in” and establish the respect prior male leaders already had. Unfortunately, these more aggressive qualities often backfired by treating females in those workplaces more harshly than others. Some female leaders in the group expressed past feelings of losing themselves and their femininity as they attempted to gain acceptance and respect from their male community. They helped us learn that a significant number of female leaders perpetuate the disrespect and verbal/emotional abuse of women who enter this industry desperate for a strong, positive female role model to help her navigate the rough roads she will inevitably encounter. We need female (and male) allies. We need to maintain and celebrate our femininity in a way that centers on ourselves and not men.

The group left Alicia’s round table empowered, connected, and prepared to take action. One action we committed to was to change our language and expectations to match the level of respect and appreciation we deserve. Since Conference, we have supported one another through several positive changes. Many attendees shared their experiences, both positive and negative. A few others have shared tips and resources for developing ourselves as business women and leaders. I am excited by the future of this group and other females in the industry who may be joining us. And thank you to the men who have encouraged and supported us as we have paved our way in this industry.