Author’s Note: I will be writing in binary terms and use the formulation “man”/“- woman”, “female”/“male” instead of “read/ perceived as male/female” for a smoother read and due to a limitation of writing space. Therefore I hope that non-binary people will not feel excluded, especially since the inten- tion is to implicate perceived genders instead of exact gender prescriptions.
Where are the travelling female piercers?
I saw this question a few weeks back in a Facebook group for piercers and started to ponder. Indeed, where are they? If I were to name those that I am aware of, only a handful of names would come to mind – but reconsidering, thinking again I know there are more. I know them personally. I just forgot that they are travelling because I don’t see constant posts about their upcoming or latest travels. But even if I take those into consideration there are still not many, which is curious. If you asked me about travelling male piercers, my reply would be “Why, dear, nearly half of the males in our industry!” or at least that’s how it feels.
In all honesty I have rarely thought about travelling female artists. But once I started thinking about the question I couldn’t stop. Why are there so few, especially in the piercing industry, while I see quite a few female tattooers and performers travelling as much and as far as their male counterparts. Is our industry really so different? Between 2014 and 2017, I travelled what the people around me considered a lot – I didn’t see it as so much, compared to other artists. During this time, I travelled for guest spots to the point where I spent three months at a time constantly sleeping on a different couch every week. For me this didn’t seem to be outside of the norm. Apart from the fact that I didn’t promote it, there were really no hardships in finding new guest spots and work to do at all. Tattooers in the places I travelled were often surprised because they didn’t know about travelling piercers. Customers and friends were often surprised that piercers would be booked to go to other places and didn’t stay at the same studio constantly. None of this had anything to do with my gender though. So how does it come that so few of my female peers are doing the same thing?
To be honest, although the mentality of our industry is far more open than more mainstream occupations, I have always considered it seemingly harder to be a female piercer. As in every workplace, we have to show far more competence than our male counterparts to be taken seriously; not always because our employers may see women as less professional, but more when it comes to clients. Outer appearance, physical height, and even the depth of our voice factors into the perception of competency, even if only on a subconscious level. Men can get away with more seemingly unprofessional or often what appears to be “cheaper” online representation with lesser quality photos than those posted by a woman. Strictness, being direct, blunt, or simple honest statements can be interpreted as rude, condescending or“bitchy” when it comes from a women, since we are expected to always be sweet and charming. On the contrary, it takes more effort to seem especially caring as a man. And even though it takes more work for a woman to be seen in the piercing industry as much as it does in any other profession, this should actually not stop us. In fact it should make us more prepared to do everything perfect at our guest spots – or as I call it, our homes for a limited time. It prepares us to not leave any room for mistakes but even to show beforehand in conversation why we are the best possible choice to fill in when help is needed.
So where are the travelling women?
As somebody who spends a lot of time researching stereotypical gender roles and their representation in media, as well as the result of this in the upbringing of persons of said genders, I have my own theories on all of this.
First of all an example that up to now I constantly shrugged off over the years: People tend to utter a certain surprise towards me when they learn I often travel unaccompanied. I love to be independent and make my plans alone instead of dragging people along. So even if I don’t work I often travel without company. For short travels and with a certain lack of money I don’t even mind hitchhiking, at least within Europe; for everyplace else I have watched too many horror movies. When I work I often get picked up by car from the train station or airport, especially at night—but this isn’t always the case. I don’t mind riding the train at night in unknown places. Most people don’t understand that. Most people can’t understand how I feel safe doing this. How I can feel comfortable even travelling alone in daylight.
Although I actually know these things, they didn’t come to mind until a friend reminded me. As a little girl you are told that it is unsafe for you to travel alone. As a woman this is confirmed. As a woman walking home alone at night you learn to change the side of the streets when a stranger approaches. You are trained early on to listen for footsteps behind you. Your kind is depicted in movies and books to be violated if no knight in shining armor appears early enough to save you. How safe can you feel alone on streets unknown to you then?
Where boys are brought up to be explorers, girls are brought up to need protection. Even if your parents don’t raise you in this direction, toys, advertisement, and children’s tv shows do. How many of the films that you watched as a child star a female hero leaving the safety of home going on a mission, or to just explore the world? I can’t think of any that were popular for my generation. The only stories where the woman or girl leaves home by her own decision are those where they do it for love.
For example, how many female characters are in The Fellowship of the Ring? On a side note: men are also trained from early on that it is adventurous to travel uncomfortably, whereas people seem to expect women to need it cozy. The shock on people’s faces when I tell them I slept for months on couches with only enough clothes to wash them once a week to be fresh again! If I hear the sentence “where is the rest of your luggage?” one more time! But it makes sense, given how much effort is put in by women to be considered “presentable” by society, as opposed to the effort men have to put into this. So it also might be more stressful for a woman to travel and still look “professional”.
This leads me to my next point. We are taught that love, the home, and a lot of emotional labor is what we are made for. In every mainstream movie or story from my childhood, regardless of how adventurous the heroine was, her adventures ended in the arms of a man. Even Mulan who subverted everything the man in her story thought a woman should be declines the option for a splendid career with the words “I have been away from home long enough.” The fact that she could have had her career and seen her family, well, that is another point and wouldn’t fit the princess themed message.
There is a certain idea in society, that a woman’s duties are to the family and are far more important than the idea of a career. As much as we are educated and can break away from traditional rules in our looks, behaviours, and career choices, it still feels uncomfortable to “neglect” the people in our life. Although I would argue that most of us are brought up to communicate a lot – which are the positive aspects of classic gender roles in this case – and be able to be present and supporting even via phone and text, it seems like it is not enough to only take care from far away. It feels often like the lack of physical presence is a cold shoulder towards our loved ones, especially our partners; I can see how this possibly stops women from leaving home and conquering the world.
Hell, even though I did regular guest spots gaining loads of experience in being away, and had different relationships (as well as friends) that all were supportive of my travels, I still feel a bit guilty when I make new plans. I feel like a bad friend for not being at birthdays. I feel like a bad girlfriend because it requires planning when to hang out and what events to go to together. I feel bad towards the customers in my hometown because they have to wait for appointments and I often can only do troubleshooting via text and refer them to other studios when I am away. But all of this has to do with an idea ingrained in our brains by society that our role is to be nurturing and to always be “there”. Whereas we are trained through social constructs that it is fully acceptable, even a sign of great success, when a man doesn’t have time to make it to private events or to come home in time after work because of a busy schedule. A father working constantly and travelling for work? That is the way it is. But beware if a mother would consider a career that limits the time with her offspring that much, if she would put this responsibility on her partners shoulders! For a long while I thought it may be weird when I sometimes got asked “isn’t your boyfriend feeling bad?” or hear “well, you don’t show your boyfriend enough love when you are always travelling.” I wonder if men hear those things—but I highly doubt it.
The idea of having to be there, building and keeping up a comfortable and warm home, putting the responsibility of the world on our shoulders—that is something we put on ourselves, because we may think we have to. But in the end: we are the ones pressuring ourselves. There is no higher power deciding that we should. We do so because we believe we have to take care of the happiness of other people, but we should take care of ourselves first of all. Staying calm and in a fixed workspace is fine, nothing I would argue against. But if the feet are giddy and there are too many “buts” in our head, one should think about how important those are and where they come from.
Even if you know that you should be able to pursue your career as much as your male counterparts, it is hard to let go of the pressure and responsibility and I hope that a lot more of my sisters realize that it is worth it to let go. This is exactly what makes you special and amazing piercers: your ability to care. Fighting the obstacles. Taking the hard road of standing your ground in a (longtime) male-dominated field. Second guessing yourself and overcoming it. Making double the effort to show that you are doing a good job. Not having the option of letting your ego be bigger than your skills.
The women in our industry rock and should get ready to conquer the world.
