It is with a heavy heart we acknowledge the passing of Rick Frueh. Our organization and industry have lost a long-term and dedicated volunteer and safe piercing advocate.

In his time with the organization Rick taught dozens of classes over numerous conferences. He was part of the Curriculum Sub committee. As part of the Procedure Manual Update Committee/2013 (completed work) he saw the organizations’ Procedure Manual get a much needed update. His work with the Blood-borne Pathogens Committee helped to create the current online courses many of us have taken. Rick  also served on the Board  of Directors from 2011–2014 as the Medical Liaison. His hard work and dedication will be missed and our condolences go out to all of those who grieve his passing.

Like so many others, my family and I were grief stricken when we heard about the passing of Rick Frueh. For Cameron and me, the loss was more personal than professional. Though we both worked with Rick extensively, it was our friendship with Rick that brought Cameron and I together. So in no small way, Cameron and I credit Rick so much, with the beautiful family that we share today.

When I received the call that Rick had passed away, my heart sank. I felt what I can only describe as shame. Shame that I had taken time for granted. That I allowed myself to believe that everything would be ok until the Christmas holiday, when Cameron and I could visit with him. Shame that I didn’t take advantage of the little time that I had with my friend. Shame that I didn’t get a chance to tell him how much I appreciated his friendship and how grateful I was to count him as a friend.

There are definitely people who knew Rick longer than I. There are certainly people who can list Rick’s professional piercing achievements better than I ever could. What I can tell you is that Rick Frueh truly did embody the principle of Forever Learning. Though I worked with Rick every time I did a guest spot at 23rd Street Body Piercing, it was my time living with Rick during those trips, that I learned from him the most. Most nights after work or even on days off, I would return to the apartment to find him on the couch reading Mill Certs, pouring through MSDS manuals, or studying metallurgical reports. Always in the context of trying to learn as much as he could about what mattered most to him.

The days following Rick’s death, I thought about nothing other than what I could do to honor my friend and all that I learned from him. It took me days to get myself together enough to ask if I could contribute something to The Point, in his memory. I spent days crying over blank pages and blank screens, unable to get passed my own personal grief long enough to write anything down. The best I can do to honor Rick’s memory is to share what I learned from him, in the hopes that it helps the next person, as it did me. First, that it’s fine if you’re a stubborn student, as long as you can always remain a student. This is probably where Rick and I shared the most in common, though we might’ve both been too stubborn to admit it.

Second, if you’re lucky enough you may make actual friends  in  this industry. If you do, and you have the chance to, stand tall for your friends. Rick stood tall for me personally and professionally more than a few times. In this industry or in life, that can be a rare thing to come across, even rarer to count on. I could always count on Rick.

Third, it is easy to doubt yourself. Especially when so many make themselves feel bigger these days by causing doubt in others. But when  faced  with  the  trust of peers, coworkers, and clients, trust yourself. Trust your instincts. Trust your dedication. For so long I didn’t know how to do this and  it kept me from ever being able to breath as a piercer. Then one day at 23rd Street, as I was running from piercing to piercing, Rick grabbed me and simply said “I trust you, we trust you. We wouldn’t have asked you here if we didn’t. Trust yourself and you’ll be fine.”

These lessons have stayed with me. I hear them and see them everywhere I go. My life has forever been changed for the better because of Rick. Not because he taught me about piercing, but because he taught me how to be a piercer. Not simply because of his friendship, but because he showed me how I could be a better friend. Rick could see and believed in a version of me that I didn’t know I was capable of. If you’re reading this, I hope you have someone in your life who does the same for you. If not, I hope you have the chance to be that for someone else.

It’s hard to write about someone’s passing when you’re having a hard time believing it’s real. Rick was a friend, a really good one. He had a big personality and wasn’t afraid to express his opinion, but he was soft spoken too. He loved feet, the color orange, and cats A LOT. What a weirdo; I loved him so much! All my thoughts about him go back to the personal stuff. The text or phone call I could 100% count on when things were rough. I’m not sure I ever fully understood him, but I really respected him.

People loved to hate Rick for being a dick online, but he was a realist. He wasn’t afraid to put it out there and be unpopular. I often watched that with a combination of admiration and envy. Despite what the critics had to say, he did a ton for the industry. He continually sought to further his education for the benefit of body piercing. He founded the most active social media group for us and that brought the use of good jewelry and the drive to become an APP Member forward light years. I know I’m doing this no justice, but it can’t wait for me to get my head around it enough to be articulate. I’m wrecked over this loss. So wrecked that I’m trying to pretend it’s not real for just a bit longer. Maybe it will be real at that next Banquet dinner where I think about how he would say, “It’s a formal dinner, not a costume party. I’m wearing a suit.”