Point 89: The Gay Ear

Lynn Loheide & Margo Dellaquilla

In piercing studios around the country the question is still asked today, “Does one side have any special meaning? You know, what ear is the gay ear?” Despite changing times and modern progress many people still associate piercings—particularly a single piercing in the lobe—as a symbol of one’s sexuality. We’ve all given a little internal eye roll when we have to field this question in our studios and most of us have a carefully prescribed response. any of us may not understand the history of this concept. It’s actually quite fascinating to take a look behind how one specific piercing developed such recognition as a gay symbol.

To find out how an ear piercing could carry such symbolism we need to look back to the ‘70s and ‘80s in America. A different time when it was still perilous to be LGBTQIA (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning, intersex, and asexual or allied) and publicly out, and there were no legal or social protections for people who were. Many people lived in fear of losing their jobs, homes, families, or being outright attacked. The AIDs crisis was beginning and both hate and fear concerning anything gay were at an all-time high.

People gathered in secret bars, hung around dark trails in local parks, and used various forms of code based on location to subtly tell people they were gay. These codes were a form of protection, a small way to tell people in-the-know what their preferences were without outing themselves and potentially changing, or even ending, their lives. We, as piercers, generally know and love the hanky code (raise your hand if you own a purple one!) This same philosophy also helped to coin“The Gay Ear”. Born from these codes is a phrase few now remember as familiar, “Left is right and right is wrong” (“wrong” here meaning gay). This cultural phrase spread across communities in an era when piercing was just blossoming. Women were daring to wear second and third earlobe piercings and a particularly rebellious person may pierce their cartilage. This phrase cemented in many minds that the singular right lobe piercing on a man was synonymous with being gay. We can even look at this New York Times article from 19911 that mentions a piercing in the right ear as a “discreet symbol”    of one’s sexuality. We must remember this was a time when discretion was, for some, life or death. Like a game of  telephone,  this  phrase  spread,  and small changes happened along the way. In some areas, it was reversed, and the left ear was  a signifier. Others changed the script  entirely:  both ears could signify one was bi or trans, and a few on one ear had specific meanings in a local scene. As the phrase became  more  widespread  and used as a way of outing folks, some opted to pierce the opposite ear associated in their area to remain hidden. All of this served to muddle the waters until no one  could  agree  which  ear  was, in fact, “the gay ear”.

It wasn’t long before that phrase became lost, and many people forgot which ear meant what, as if any ear ever meant anything. The internet, and even before that the “Ask x” columns and library question cards, were filled with men agonizing over which was the ear they were “supposed” to pierce. How could they wear the adornments they desired while maintaining their heterosexuality; or, perhaps, secretly inquiring which they could pierce to flaunt their homosexuality. Over time the meaning seemed to matter less and less as piercings became more popular and many folks cared not what anyone else thought. Their adornments were for them and them alone. As early as the ‘90s people had forgotten the meaning as piercings were now more about punk rock and youthful rebellion than an underground symbol. Time passed and it became ok to be out. We didn’t need to hide behind antiquated codes or symbols; we could be out and proud!

While discrimination still exists in many shapes and forms, even now in 2020, fortunately, we don’t need to hide as much as we did then. That being said, education and reclamation of what was once used to hurt or oppress us can be a powerful way to stand in the face of discrimination. This is a great piece of history to share with other piercers, clients, and friends, to help remove the stigma and keep our history alive. After all, given our shared history, all piercings are a little bit gay!

Photos of Gauntlet founder and out gay man Jim Ward from issue 24 of Piercing Fans International Quarterly (1985). Jim acquired his first ear piercing in 1969 when the right ear was very much the traditional “gay” ear. Like many gay men of that time, he still opted to pierce the left ear. The initial piercing was a bit low; sometime in Gauntlet’s early years, he did a second one above it for which he designed these unique jewelry pieces. Sadly, they disappeared when Gauntlet closed in 1998. After he moved to San Francisco in the early 1990s, he finally had his right ear pierced.